 The holiday season can bring a mix of joy, stress, and logistics—especially when you're starting fresh after a separation or divorce. Crafting a holiday schedule that works for everyone can seem daunting, but with planning, flexibility, and consideration for your kids' experiences, it’s absolutely doable.
Start Planning Early Holidays have a way of sneaking up on us, so start the conversation sooner rather than later. Early planning reduces stress and allows room for adjustments. Ask the Right Questions To create a plan tailored to your family’s needs, start with these questions:
Use School Calendars as a Guide School schedules play a huge role in holiday planning. Grab your child’s school district calendar to identify key breaks like Thanksgiving, winter break, spring break, and long weekends. Understanding the school year structure will help align schedules with the best travel or celebration opportunities. Consider Travel Logistics If parents live far apart, focus on extended breaks like summer vacation, winter break, and spring break for time-sharing. For closer distances, alternating weekends or splitting specific holidays may be more practical. Explore Holiday Sharing Options Here are some common approaches to splitting holidays:
Think About the Kids’ Experience The goal is to make the holidays enjoyable, not stressful. Consider what works best for the kids:
Be Mindful of Parental Work Schedules Parents' work obligations can influence holiday schedules. If one parent must work on certain holidays or has limited time off, it may make sense to adjust the schedule accordingly. Government employees or those with more predictable work schedules may have holidays off, whereas other jobs may require flexibility in planning. Plan Around Cultural and Religious Traditions Remember that not all families celebrate the same holidays in the same way. For families with diverse religious or cultural backgrounds, honoring different traditions may require extra thought and communication. For example:
Create New Traditions Divorce often means letting go of old traditions and creating new ones. This can be an opportunity to reconnect with extended family, build new routines, and establish fresh, meaningful traditions for your kids. Whether it’s a pancake breakfast on Christmas morning, a special movie night, or a unique family outing, new traditions can bring joy and stability to the holiday season. What About Extended Weekends? While major holidays get a lot of attention, don’t overlook the value of three-day weekends like Labor Day, Memorial Day, and even President’s Day. These are often great opportunities for quality time, especially if extended breaks like summer or winter holidays feel far away. Consider alternating these weekends or incorporating them into a broader parenting plan. Utilize Tools and Resources Parenting plans and mediation resources can help streamline the process. For example, online work and school calendars and online holiday calendars can help you create schedules that align with school calendars, holidays, and work obligations. Keep the Focus on the Kids At the heart of all holiday scheduling discussions should be the question: “What’s best for the kids?” A smooth and stress-free holiday is often more memorable than how time was divided. Keep communication open and prioritize their well-being, ensuring they feel loved and supported throughout the season. By approaching holiday planning with flexibility and an open mind, you can create a schedule that brings joy and stability to your family—even in the midst of change. |