Being a good listener, especially during difficult conversations with your ex, is crucial for effective communication and resolving conflicts. Here are some best practices to enhance your listening skills:

1. Active Listening: Show that you're engaged in the conversation by nodding, making eye contact, and using affirming phrases like "I understand" or "I see." This demonstrates attentiveness and respect for what the other person is saying.

2. Avoid Interruptions: Allow your ex to finish their thoughts without interrupting. Interruptions can signal disrespect and impatience, and they can escalate tensions.

3. Stay Calm and Composed: Difficult conversations can be emotionally charged. Strive to remain calm and composed, even if the topic is upsetting. This helps in maintaining a constructive dialogue.

4. Empathy: Try to understand your ex's perspective, even if you disagree. Acknowledging their feelings and viewpoints can foster a more open and respectful conversation.

5. Ask Clarifying Questions: If something is unclear, ask questions to ensure you understand their point. This shows that you are interested in comprehending their perspective fully.

6. Avoid Judgments: Refrain from making judgments or jumping to conclusions. This can shut down communication and lead to defensiveness.

7. Summarize and Reflect: Periodically summarize what you've heard to confirm your understanding. This reflection also shows that you are paying attention and value what is being said.

8. Non-Verbal Cues: Be mindful of your body language. Crossed arms, lack of eye contact, or a dismissive tone can be perceived as disinterest or hostility.

9. Keep an Open Mind: Approach the conversation with an open mind. Being receptive to new information or viewpoints can lead to a more productive discussion.

10. Manage Your Reactions: It’s important to keep your emotions in check. If you feel yourself getting upset, take a moment to breathe and compose yourself before responding.

11. Focus on the Issue, Not the Person: Keep the conversation focused on the specific issue at hand, rather than on personal grievances or past conflicts.

12. Seek Understanding, Not Victory: The goal of the conversation should be to understand each other and find a resolution, not to “win” the argument.

Remember, effective listening is a skill that requires practice and patience. It's especially important in conversations with an ex, where there may be a history of miscommunication or emotional baggage. By being a good listener, you can help create a more positive and constructive dialogue.

Divorce mediation is often preferred over going to court for several reasons:

Pros of Divorce Mediation:
1. Cost-Effective: Mediation is typically less expensive than a court battle, which can save both parties considerable amounts of money.
2. Time-Saving: It is usually faster than the traditional court process, which can be lengthy and drawn out.
3. Confidentiality: Mediation is a private process, unlike court proceedings which are public.
4. Control: The parties have more control over the outcome. In mediation, both spouses have a say in the agreement, as opposed to a judge making decisions.
5. Less Adversarial: Mediation is generally less confrontational and more collaborative, which can be especially beneficial if children are involved.
6.Flexibility: The process is more flexible and can be tailored to the specific needs of the family.

Cons of Divorce Mediation:
1. Not Binding: Unless a settlement is reached and formalized with court, the agreements made in mediation are not legally binding.
2. Imbalance of Power: If there's a significant imbalance of power or one spouse is intimidated by the other, mediation might not be fair.
3. May Not Resolve All Issues: Some high-conflict might be difficult to resolve by agreement.

Pros of Going to Court:
1. Legally Binding: Decisions made by a judge are legally binding and enforceable.
2. Handles Complex Issues: The court can handle more contentious issues that might not be resolvable through mediation.
3. Structured Process: The court process is formal and structured, providing a clear framework and timeline.

Cons of Going to Court:
1. Expensive: Legal fees and court costs can be very high.
2. Time-Consuming: Litigation can take a long time, often years, to resolve.
3. Public Record: Court proceedings are public, which means the details of a divorce can become a matter of public record.
4. Adversarial: The nature of court litigation is confrontational, which can lead to increased stress and emotional difficulty for both parties and their children.
5. Less Control: The final decision is made by a judge, not the parties involved, which means less control over the outcome. 

Each method has its own advantages and disadvantages, and the best choice depends on the specific circumstances of the divorcing couple.

In the context of divorce or parenting time negotiations, the concepts of "interests" and "positions" play a crucial role in understanding and resolving conflicts. These concepts help you distinguish between the deeper needs and desires of the people involved (interests) and the specific demands or solutions they propose (positions).

1. Positions in Divorce or Parenting Time These are the specific demands or solutions that a person puts forward. For example, in a divorce negotiation, one person might have the position that they want to keep the family home. In a parenting time negotiation, a parent's position might be that they want the children every weekend.

2. Interests in Divorce or Parenting Time  Interests are the underlying needs, concerns, fears, or values that motivate the positions. Interests often include emotional, psychological, and practical needs. For instance, the interest behind wanting to keep the family home might be the desire for stability, especially for the children, or a sense of security and attachment to the home. In the case of parenting time, the interest behind wanting the children every weekend might be the desire to maintain a strong relationship with the children or to ensure that they have ample time for bonding.

Understanding these distinctions is essential:

- Positions Can Lead to Conflict  When parties in a divorce or parenting negotiation stick rigidly to their positions, it often leads to conflict, as these positions might be mutually exclusive or appear to leave no room for compromise.

- Interests Allow for Creative Solutions. By understanding and acknowledging each other's interests, parties can often find creative solutions that meet the underlying needs of both. This approach opens up the possibility of finding a middle ground or alternative solutions that might not have been considered if the focus were solely on positions.

For example, if the interest is maintaining a strong relationship with the children, solutions might involve different scheduling, such as splitting weekends or incorporating mid-week visits, rather than sticking to the position of having every weekend.

In divorce and parenting time negotiations, focusing on interests rather than positions is crucial for several reasons:

- It leads to more amicable solutions that are more likely to be respected and followed by both parties.
- It helps preserve a cooperative relationship, which is especially important when children are involved.
- It acknowledges the emotional complexity of divorce and parenting negotiations, allowing for solutions that are sensitive to the emotional needs of all parties, including the children. 

Mediators and family law professionals often use interest-based negotiation techniques to guide parties in these situations towards mutually beneficial and sustainable agreements.